Somewhere
by Sabi-chan93
Summary: Charles WILL find Erik again. No matter what. Cherik. Set after X-Men First Class.


**Pairing**: Cherik - ErikxCharles

**Warnings:** homosexual themes, angst

**Disclaimer:** I don't own X-men first class (or any other part of the x-men franchise) – I can guarantee you it would have ended differently if I did.

**Written to:**** '**Somewhere' by Within Temptation

**A/N:** My first ever Cherik story! Finally! I've been so in love with these two ever since I watched X-men: First Class 3 can't get enough of them~

I might write a longer story with this pairing in the future – 'cause they deserve some loving XD Anyways, let me know what you think.

**Somewhere**

Sitting by himself in the large Xavier mansion, Charles found himself somewhat lost in the darkness that seemed to come closer and closer. He could hear the faint sounds of the other mutants' sleeping minds but it did nothing to comfort him. There was only one mind he was hoping to hear now yet every time he tried to locate it with his powers he was met with silence. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't reach Erik Lehnsherr's mind anymore.

Did Erik even know how much it pained him? Did he realize just how hard Charles would scream for him telepathically? If he did, he most likely didn't care. At least not enough to remove the helmet that was separating them. Charles sunk deeper into his wheelchair and screamed for Erik's mind again. Unsuccessfully – of course.

It might be naïve. He knew Erik better than most and should therefore be very conscious of the man's stubborn ways, yet he never stopped hoping that someday things would go back to the way it used to be. That they could one day put this whole thing behind them and be what they used to be.

Watching the news at any given opportunity he occasionally picked up clues to the metal bender's whereabouts but in truth he didn't really know. He didn't really know where Erik was or what he was doing, and it hurt him. It was quite a big change from how it used to be. Before, he'd been around the other man almost every second of every day. They'd followed each other around throughout most of the day – and lain side by side at night, sharing their inner most sacred thoughts and hopes.

No matter how far away Erik might be on his idealistic mission, that past – those memories – would never fade from Charles' mind. Even if he actually somehow managed to get over this and move on, the metal bender would always have a very special place in his heart.

A large map was covering his wooden desk as he trailed his fingers across its surface. _He's not there,_ Charles concluded and mentally crossed out Canada in his mind. Hopeless as it might seem, the telepath was dead set; he would find Erik. Somewhere, someday. He would never give up on the person he'd cherished so dearly. He promised himself, he would continue to be open for Erik. Until his dying day he would always be ready to find Erik, ready to guide him back to a brighter path.

What had happened to Erik? To his mind, to his soul, his body? Charles needed to know. He knew he could never truly be at peace until he found out, until he reached Erik again. More than anything, he needed the truth. Had Erik truly changed for good? Had he really abandoned Charles in his heart?

The telepath spend long nights remembering sweet words of eternal love being whispered into his ear after passionate exchanges of affection. He remembered dry lips trailing down his neck, sharp teeth biting possessively into his flesh as he was claimed. Did Erik remember, too? Did he still possess those once so powerful emotions? That's what Charles felt he needed to know the most. He needed to truth.

Sometimes it felt like there was nothing Charles could really do from his weak physical state. Even if he saw Erik he couldn't run after him, couldn't reach him with his mind either. At those times it felt like he had to come to terms with reality; only Erik could bring Erik back.

The telepath would stare for long hours out of his window, silently praying that one day Erik would find his way out of his dark state of mind on his own. The path Erik was heading down was a dark, hateful and vengeful one. How could it possibly end well? _Please, Erik. Try._

Even surrounded by an increasing amount of well-meaning mutants who admired and cared for him, Charles felt alone. Selfish as it was, there was only one person who would truly bring him peace. He missed the metal bender's presence. He missed being watched by those intensive eyes, he missed the soft edges to his voice when they were in private and he missed the warmth of the other's embrace; strong arms encircling him, making him feel safe, loved and protected. He promised himself; if he was ever to find himself in that embrace again – he would never let go.

He'd been inside Erik's head a few times. He'd seen the horrors of his childhood. Watched as his mother was killed whilst feeling the sorrow, hurt and guilt associated with that memory. He'd seen the endless hours of torture and experiments conducted on the young boy Erik used to be. He knew of the hurt Erik had been through and it pained him to no end. He loved Erik far too much to not flinch in agony at the thought of someone hurting him. He feared the hurt would never end now that Erik insisted on living a life of war and conflict.

On really dark days Charles almost – _almost_ – wished Erik wouldn't be on this Earth anymore. He fantasized about Erik going to heaven, meeting up with his lost family and never be hurt again. Charles would hate himself for thinking such thoughts. He didn't want Erik dead – but he did want him to be peaceful. He prayed for the existence of Heaven just for the sake of thinking that Erik could go there.

At least then Charles would know where he was. Unlike now when he spent his days in pain and agony imagining all the horrible situations the metal bender could place himself in.

He _would_ find him. On his better days Charles was fueled with raging energy thinking this. He would search for his Erik to the end of time. No matter what. He had to find him so that he might one day understand what had happened to the Erik he knew and still loved. Was he still there, hidden underneath the malicious helmet and bitter thoughts? One day Charles would find out.

And one day he did. Sitting by his window again, staring out into the darkness of that outside world he felt it. He felt Erik's mind! It was as familiar as returning to the Xavier house had been. He felt the sinful comfort of being inside the metal bender's head. And at once he knew where he was!

Turning his gaze to the lawn outside of his window, he saw him, standing with his helmet in his hand rather than on his head. And once again he could hear, taste and feel the emotions of the other. He felt the love he'd prayed had never left. Placing a hand on the cold glass of the window, he allowed himself to be completely filled by Erik's conflicting emotions. He did love him! He still did. In the garden Erik smiled up at him. _Of course I do._

Long agile fingers traced his face fondly before dry lips met his own hungrily. A whimper left his mouth as it was invaded by its long lost companion. The taste of Erik filled Charles' mouth as the feel of his mind occupied his soul. He knew it was temporary. He could hear the countdown in Erik's head. Erik was here for the same reason Charles had been searching for him. He needed to know, too. Charles could hear the questions that had been plaguing Erik. _Do you still love me? Will you still want me after what I've done_? Of course he would. He always would.

When this night of build-up longing was over, Charles' soul might be a bit more at peace but it didn't actually change anything. He would still continue to search for Erik. He would continue to be an open door, a promised escape for Erik. Until his dying day.


End file.
